Bristol
That had to be the best Bristol race since the introduction of the much cursed Car of Turmoil. Folks actually had to use their skills to navigate around slower traffic and to pass their competitors. None of this “Waah I need a whole race track to be able to pass” stuff. You were able to tell who the racers were and who the drivers were. The racers moved forwards on the track while the drivers depended on attrition and pit stops to move forward. Sure there were some wrecks. Some from blown tires, others from a driver’s lack of skills in close quarters racing, and some from Murphy’s Law. But because the racing was better, you can expect to see the grandstands to be not quite as empty as they have been over the last several years. It was a far cry form the first Car of Turmoil race at Bristol when fans were actually falling asleep in their seats.
Now if NA$CAR would just go back to something that actually resembled a stock car or improved the handling of the current generic race vehicle, they might get some more exciting racing which means more butts in the seats.
You Gotta Laugh
The Queen of Hype’s fans are nearly as demented as the fans of another highly hyped driver. You talk about conspiracy theories? Some have said that Sorenson intentionally “brake checked” her which is why she ran into the rear of him causing her to wreck at Indy during the Busch Series race. When the BSPN analysts have nothing to say other than she was at fault, you know she was at fault. And after 10+ years of racing experience, she could’ve easily have missed Sorenson when his car slid back across the track. All she had to do was slow down. It might have cost her a few positions but she wouldn’t have wrecked her car. I’ve seen genuine rookies miss the same sort of wrecks by simply hitting the brakes. If I can miss a 26 car wreck on an icy, foggy autobahn in Germany simply by slowing down and using my brakes, she could surely miss a car on an closed circuit with sunny warm weather.
The infamous shoe “bombing” incident in Montreal is being said to be a concerted effort to keep her from winning. It sounds like Hillary Clinton’s “vast right wing conspiracy” statement. Apparently track security caught the person who did it and tossed them from the track. The fact that her spotter was telling her to be careful and to watch for debris on the track and she hit the shoe anyways makes me wonder if she has a hearing problem or maybe has trouble processing verbal orders or comments. Eury Jr had told her several times to take care of the transmission but that didn’t seem to work too well either. The fact that the track bar came loose tells me it either wasn’t tightened down properly or that she hit the “curbs” either too hard or hit them one too many times.
The shoe incident made for some great commentary during the IndyCar race at Sonoma. The commentators said they needed a caution and that Robin Miller was spotted wearing only one sneaker in the pits and wondered when he’d throw his sneaker out on the track to cause a caution. It was an obvious dig at the Queen of Hype and her inability to miss the sneaker that was on the track at Montreal.
Perfect Record
So far, the Queen of Hype has a perfect record in the Cup Series races she’s run in this season. She’s manage to wreck in every one so far. Not exactly the kind of perfect record you want to have.
Tony Stewart to Compete in 2016 Olympics
With the addition of a new event for the 2016 Olympics and a fine exhibition of his skills at Bristol, Tony Stewart has secured a position and will be team captain for Team USA in Rio De Janeiro in the Helmet Toss Competition.
Focks Snorts Deleting Comments
It seems that the wonderful folks monitoring the Focks Snorts web site doesn’t like comments that don’t praise NA$CAR. Here’s a comment that was deleted regarding the recent penalties:
Sure enough it is typical NASCAR fairness through and through. One team gets their hand slapped and another belted and whipped.
I'm sure it has nothing at all to do with car maker, sponsors and who makes the chase. Nope, nada, none.
Is it a Coincidence that ever since a Childress put a Black #3 back on the track he has been getting nothing but fined? Humm Must be me.
The frame rails pass pre-race inspection but then NASCAR decides to post-race inspect a 10th place car and amazingly finds a needle in a haystack. I proud of you NASCAR and your Due Diligence. Keep it up!
The frame rails are inspected and certified at the super secret R&D facility when the Car of Turmoil (COT) is submitted for the $22,500 certification process. So how could the frame rail be sanctified and blessed at the R&D facility and then fail a post-race inspection? That says a lot about the certification process and it’s reliability and questions the integrity of both the COT’s that have been certified and of NA$CAR and the folks doing the certification.
But leave it to Focks Sports to delete a comment which questions NA$CAR’s integrity and criticizes them.
NA$CAR Integrity
I know, they have none. You look at the penalties for Paul Menard’s team and that of Shrubbery. Menard’s team get’s fined, suspensions, and docked points. Shrubbery didn’t have any points docked. Why not? All they got was a fine and probation for the crew chief. Menard on the other hand lost his crew & car chiefs until October 3rd, his crew chief was fined, and the team got docked 25 driver & owner points for a frame rail which didn’t meet specs.
The frame rails have to be certified along with the rest of the Kit Car at the super secret R&D center. So if the frame rails were certified by NA$CAR and were later found not to meet spec, what does that say about the certification process and NA$CAR? You have to wonder if NA$CAR intentionally lets cars that won’t make spec through just so they can nail them later to put money into the NA$CAR Foundation in which NA$CAR only pays out 30% to charity.
Dinger Still in Talks
During the broadcast of the IndyCar race at Sonoma, one of the announcers stated that AJ Foyt was still in talks with Dinger about driving for him next season. I know Dinger’s heart was set on returning to NA$CAR next season but as I’ve mentioned before he’ll be treated like damaged goods. So it would be a much better career move to go to IndyCar next season and maybe return to NA$CAR at some point down the road.
Logano to Penske
By now it’s been announced that Joey the Giraffe is going to Penske. I’m not sure what car he’ll be driving. More than likely it’ll be a 3rd team car. Why is that? Because Pennzoil has a clause in their contract which states that a champion will drive the car with their sponsorship. The only top tier champion on the Penske team is Sam Hornish Jr. with 3 IRL/IndyCar championships. Logano won the Camping World Series East Championship in 2007. Not quite the same thing or same level as Sam’s championships.
The interesting thing about that is Sam had Pennzoil on his IRL car when he was a champion in the IRL. So there’s already a relationship established between Sam and Pennzoil. Who will Joey’s sponsor be? That remains to be seen.
Using Illegal Parts
Bad Brad said that The Felon’s teams were using illegal parts on the rear end of the car which allow the rear end to “turn”. If true, you have to ask yourself why didn’t NA$CAR’s crack team of officials catch it? When you’ve got Mr Magoo as your head official and the team owner is BFF’s with Faux King Brian, it’s easy for illegal parts to be missed during inspection.
Smoke Retracts Threats
Smoke retracted remarks he made after the race at Bristol about taking out Matt Kenseth every chance he (Smoke) got. Now why would he do that? When you announce to the world ahead of time that your going to take out another driver during a race, that’s considered to be pre-meditated and NA$CAR frowns on that. That’s a big Bozo No-No. Even if an incident occurred that wasn’t intentional, NA$CAR would take immediate action such as parking the driver, like they did with Mr Happy a while back, or bringing them into the pits and make them sit there for a number of laps. So will Smoke actual wreck Kenseth? Definitely. But he’ll probably use Iron Head’s rule. Wait about 4-5 races then take him out.
Courage
If you want to find out what courage really is, you need to read about Danny Pollock, who races sprint cars.
https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=10150691199195838&id=86077500837
http://www.dannypollock.com/
Curtis Turner for 2016 HOF
Showing posts with label Sam Hornish Jr. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sam Hornish Jr. Show all posts
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Mad Mikie's Laidback Lounge: Mike's Loose Lugnuts
By Mike Sanders
Drunk, Lazy, And Stupid Is No Way To Go Through Life, Son...
Especially if you're the chairman and CEO of a major sports organization. But Brain Dead manages to pull it off. On May 19th, just before the Sprint All-Star Race, he stated that he's pleased with the 2012 season: "It's been a good, solid year". Really? For whom? Maybe for you, because you're making a boat-load of cash, and The Felon is keeping your liquor cabinet fully-stocked with his weekly "donations", but what about the fans? It doesn't appears to have been such a great year for most of them, if you go by TV ratings and race attendence. Almost every track now has several sections covered by flags, tarps, or sponsor banners to attempt to hide all of the empty seats. Blimp shots of the stands get cut off abruptly once the large sections of uncovered empty seats come into view. There are no official race attendence numbers; everything is fudged. That's why you'll see numbers like "100,000" or "80,000" for race attendence. Most are completely bogus and insult the intelligence of most of the fans at the race or those watching (in decreasing numbers) at home on TV. Speaking of the All-Star Race...
The All-Star Debacle
This season, the Sprint All-Star Race was advertised as the only major sport All-Star contest in which the participants are actually trying. Considering what the NFL Pro Bowl has degraded to lately, that wouldn't be a difficult statement to make. And it has that potential: no points are on the line, and the winner gets a cool million bucks. There won't be any "points racing", so everybody can just go for it. Well, that's not quite what happened this year. The winners of the first three segments played possum at the back of the field after they won their segment, and then raced hard during the final 10 lap segment that decided the race. It was a monumental pile of horse dung. I don't want to hear about how those three drivers were "employing strategy by not using their cars up". Bull crap! After Bent Sh!tcan won the first segment then started the second segment a full straightaway behind the field, driving about as fast as my 82 year old mother, the whole thing went to hell. Someone from NASCAR should have been on the phone to the 48 team and told them that if the 48 didn't move up to the pack and race like he had a pair, he would be parked for the remainder of the race. "Sorry...no balls, no million bucks. If we wanted to see someone drive like that, we'd have put your wife behind the wheel." My solution for this mess is a simple one: make it a 100 lap race with no segments. Period. No mandatory pit stops. Stop when you need to or under caution. Determining the participants would also be simple: anybody who won a race between last year's ASR and this year's ASR gets in, as do past ASR winners. That's it. No bogus fan vote, no heat races. I can dream, can't I?
An Update On The Best Female Driver In NASCAR
And of course, it's not The Bimbo. It's Johanna Long. I wrote about her after Daytona, and, after being prodded by a couple of readers after my last article, I'll do it again now, and I'll continue to do it later in the year. The recently-turned 20 year old from Pensacola, driving for the under-funded ML Motorsports in the number 70 car, has now run 8 races this year, with an average starting position of 21.0 and an average finish of 23.8 (skewed by a 37th place finish at Talladega in which she ran only 18 laps due to overheating). The Talladega race is her only DNF of the year. She's doing great considering the lack of funding she has to deal with. By contrast, The Bimbo, in just about the best equipment money can buy, has stats of 15.4-21.0 and 3 DNF's. The Bimbo also leads Johanna in excuses for non-performance by about 23 quadrillion to zero. And speaking of The Bimbo...
Payback Is A ... Well, You Know
Good for Sam Hornish, Jr. for not putting up with The Bimbo's crap. The Bimbo puts him into the wall on the cooldown lap at Talladega, Sam retaliates with a well-timed (and COMPLETELY UNINTENTIONAL *cough, cough*) tap at Dover that basically ends her day. Good going, Sam! Unfortunately, there was a bit of collateral damage, as Brad Sweet got caught up in it. Wrong place, wrong time, etc.
NASCAR Sends Another Message
NASCAR probation has been universally scoffed at and mocked. It is (or was) completely toothless; it was their way of saying "stop...or I'll say 'stop' again". It meant nothing. Well, their suspension of Maxi Douche after his incident with writer Bob Pockrass after the Dover Nationwide race was a message to all drivers: when you're on probation, don't piss us off, or we WILL do something about it. Message received (I think). BTW, if the NASCAR media were polled off the record, I'm sure most of them would rather interview Maxi or even Mini Douche (as long as they had taken their meds) than interview Bent Sh!tcan, whose grating monotone drives everybody up the wall.
A Job Lost, A Job Saved?
I think this might have been Maxi Douche's last chance. It's a good thing that the contract between him and car owner James Finch was a handshake deal and not in writing. Finch was already having a hard time finding sponsors for the 51, but now (with the possible exception of Jerry Springer's offer, which I think is just a publicity stunt...but what a fitting driver to sponsor) I doubt any top-tier or even mid-tier sponsor would touch the 51 with a 10 foot pole as long as Maxi is behind the wheel. On the other side of things, did the win at Pocono save Burnt Toast's job in the 20 car? As much as I'd like to say that it's The Coach's call on that one, sadly the call will probably be made by Home Depot. Yep, sponsors run NASCAR these days, especially big name sponsors like HD. If they want somebody else behind the wheel of the 20 next year (this is the final year of BT's contract), then The Coach will be forced to make a change. Gotta keep the big money guys happy.
Could It Happen?
We all know that the dreaded disease know as "The Chase for the Sprint Cup" was the kneejerk reaction to Matt Kenseth winning the 2003 championship going away despite only winning one race all year. Thus far in 2012, the most consistent driver in the Cup series is also one of the drivers who hasn't won this year: that's right, it's June Bug. Wouldn't it be a nice thumb in the eye of Brain Dead and the other chuckleheads-in-charge if June Bug won the championship this year and didn't win a race? You'd be able to hear the cementheads exploding all the way here in Orlando.
TNT Takes Charge
TNT telecasted the Pocono race and has the next five races before ESPN takes over. For the first time all year I could actually see more than two cars on the track at the same time. What a concept! And while the guys in the booth aren't as bad as FOX's crew, they've got some improving to do. Still, nothing beats a "boogity"-less green flag to start a race.
Drunk, Lazy, And Stupid Is No Way To Go Through Life, Son...
Especially if you're the chairman and CEO of a major sports organization. But Brain Dead manages to pull it off. On May 19th, just before the Sprint All-Star Race, he stated that he's pleased with the 2012 season: "It's been a good, solid year". Really? For whom? Maybe for you, because you're making a boat-load of cash, and The Felon is keeping your liquor cabinet fully-stocked with his weekly "donations", but what about the fans? It doesn't appears to have been such a great year for most of them, if you go by TV ratings and race attendence. Almost every track now has several sections covered by flags, tarps, or sponsor banners to attempt to hide all of the empty seats. Blimp shots of the stands get cut off abruptly once the large sections of uncovered empty seats come into view. There are no official race attendence numbers; everything is fudged. That's why you'll see numbers like "100,000" or "80,000" for race attendence. Most are completely bogus and insult the intelligence of most of the fans at the race or those watching (in decreasing numbers) at home on TV. Speaking of the All-Star Race...
The All-Star Debacle
This season, the Sprint All-Star Race was advertised as the only major sport All-Star contest in which the participants are actually trying. Considering what the NFL Pro Bowl has degraded to lately, that wouldn't be a difficult statement to make. And it has that potential: no points are on the line, and the winner gets a cool million bucks. There won't be any "points racing", so everybody can just go for it. Well, that's not quite what happened this year. The winners of the first three segments played possum at the back of the field after they won their segment, and then raced hard during the final 10 lap segment that decided the race. It was a monumental pile of horse dung. I don't want to hear about how those three drivers were "employing strategy by not using their cars up". Bull crap! After Bent Sh!tcan won the first segment then started the second segment a full straightaway behind the field, driving about as fast as my 82 year old mother, the whole thing went to hell. Someone from NASCAR should have been on the phone to the 48 team and told them that if the 48 didn't move up to the pack and race like he had a pair, he would be parked for the remainder of the race. "Sorry...no balls, no million bucks. If we wanted to see someone drive like that, we'd have put your wife behind the wheel." My solution for this mess is a simple one: make it a 100 lap race with no segments. Period. No mandatory pit stops. Stop when you need to or under caution. Determining the participants would also be simple: anybody who won a race between last year's ASR and this year's ASR gets in, as do past ASR winners. That's it. No bogus fan vote, no heat races. I can dream, can't I?
An Update On The Best Female Driver In NASCAR
And of course, it's not The Bimbo. It's Johanna Long. I wrote about her after Daytona, and, after being prodded by a couple of readers after my last article, I'll do it again now, and I'll continue to do it later in the year. The recently-turned 20 year old from Pensacola, driving for the under-funded ML Motorsports in the number 70 car, has now run 8 races this year, with an average starting position of 21.0 and an average finish of 23.8 (skewed by a 37th place finish at Talladega in which she ran only 18 laps due to overheating). The Talladega race is her only DNF of the year. She's doing great considering the lack of funding she has to deal with. By contrast, The Bimbo, in just about the best equipment money can buy, has stats of 15.4-21.0 and 3 DNF's. The Bimbo also leads Johanna in excuses for non-performance by about 23 quadrillion to zero. And speaking of The Bimbo...
Payback Is A ... Well, You Know
Good for Sam Hornish, Jr. for not putting up with The Bimbo's crap. The Bimbo puts him into the wall on the cooldown lap at Talladega, Sam retaliates with a well-timed (and COMPLETELY UNINTENTIONAL *cough, cough*) tap at Dover that basically ends her day. Good going, Sam! Unfortunately, there was a bit of collateral damage, as Brad Sweet got caught up in it. Wrong place, wrong time, etc.
NASCAR Sends Another Message
NASCAR probation has been universally scoffed at and mocked. It is (or was) completely toothless; it was their way of saying "stop...or I'll say 'stop' again". It meant nothing. Well, their suspension of Maxi Douche after his incident with writer Bob Pockrass after the Dover Nationwide race was a message to all drivers: when you're on probation, don't piss us off, or we WILL do something about it. Message received (I think). BTW, if the NASCAR media were polled off the record, I'm sure most of them would rather interview Maxi or even Mini Douche (as long as they had taken their meds) than interview Bent Sh!tcan, whose grating monotone drives everybody up the wall.
A Job Lost, A Job Saved?
I think this might have been Maxi Douche's last chance. It's a good thing that the contract between him and car owner James Finch was a handshake deal and not in writing. Finch was already having a hard time finding sponsors for the 51, but now (with the possible exception of Jerry Springer's offer, which I think is just a publicity stunt...but what a fitting driver to sponsor) I doubt any top-tier or even mid-tier sponsor would touch the 51 with a 10 foot pole as long as Maxi is behind the wheel. On the other side of things, did the win at Pocono save Burnt Toast's job in the 20 car? As much as I'd like to say that it's The Coach's call on that one, sadly the call will probably be made by Home Depot. Yep, sponsors run NASCAR these days, especially big name sponsors like HD. If they want somebody else behind the wheel of the 20 next year (this is the final year of BT's contract), then The Coach will be forced to make a change. Gotta keep the big money guys happy.
Could It Happen?
We all know that the dreaded disease know as "The Chase for the Sprint Cup" was the kneejerk reaction to Matt Kenseth winning the 2003 championship going away despite only winning one race all year. Thus far in 2012, the most consistent driver in the Cup series is also one of the drivers who hasn't won this year: that's right, it's June Bug. Wouldn't it be a nice thumb in the eye of Brain Dead and the other chuckleheads-in-charge if June Bug won the championship this year and didn't win a race? You'd be able to hear the cementheads exploding all the way here in Orlando.
TNT Takes Charge
TNT telecasted the Pocono race and has the next five races before ESPN takes over. For the first time all year I could actually see more than two cars on the track at the same time. What a concept! And while the guys in the booth aren't as bad as FOX's crew, they've got some improving to do. Still, nothing beats a "boogity"-less green flag to start a race.
Mike's Loose Lugnuts
By Mike Sanders
Drunk, Lazy, And Stupid Is No Way To Go Through Life, Son...
Especially if you're the chairman and CEO of a major sports organization. But Brain Dead manages to pull it off. On May 19th, just before the Sprint All-Star Race, he stated that he's pleased with the 2012 season: "It's been a good, solid year". Really? For whom? Maybe for you, because you're making a boat-load of cash, and The Felon is keeping your liquor cabinet fully-stocked with his weekly "donations", but what about the fans? It doesn't appears to have been such a great year for most of them, if you go by TV ratings and race attendence. Almost every track now has several sections covered by flags, tarps, or sponsor banners to attempt to hide all of the empty seats. Blimp shots of the stands get cut off abruptly once the large sections of uncovered empty seats come into view. There are no official race attendence numbers; everything is fudged. That's why you'll see numbers like "100,000" or "80,000" for race attendence. Most are completely bogus and insult the intelligence of most of the fans at the race or those watching (in decreasing numbers) at home on TV. Speaking of the All-Star Race...
The All-Star Debacle
This season, the Sprint All-Star Race was advertised as the only major sport All-Star contest in which the participants are actually trying. Considering what the NFL Pro Bowl has degraded to lately, that wouldn't be a difficult statement to make. And it has that potential: no points are on the line, and the winner gets a cool million bucks. There won't be any "points racing", so everybody can just go for it. Well, that's not quite what happened this year. The winners of the first three segments played possum at the back of the field after they won their segment, and then raced hard during the final 10 lap segment that decided the race. It was a monumental pile of horse dung. I don't want to hear about how those three drivers were "employing strategy by not using their cars up". Bull crap! After Bent Sh!tcan won the first segment then started the second segment a full straightaway behind the field, driving about as fast as my 82 year old mother, the whole thing went to hell. Someone from NASCAR should have been on the phone to the 48 team and told them that if the 48 didn't move up to the pack and race like he had a pair, he would be parked for the remainder of the race. "Sorry...no balls, no million bucks. If we wanted to see someone drive like that, we'd have put your wife behind the wheel." My solution for this mess is a simple one: make it a 100 lap race with no segments. Period. No mandatory pit stops. Stop when you need to or under caution. Determining the participants would also be simple: anybody who won a race between last year's ASR and this year's ASR gets in, as do past ASR winners. That's it. No bogus fan vote, no heat races. I can dream, can't I?
An Update On The Best Female Driver In NASCAR
And of course, it's not The Bimbo. It's Johanna Long. I wrote about her after Daytona, and, after being prodded by a couple of readers after my last article, I'll do it again now, and I'll continue to do it later in the year. The recently-turned 20 year old from Pensacola, driving for the under-funded ML Motorsports in the number 70 car, has now run 8 races this year, with an average starting position of 21.0 and an average finish of 23.8 (skewed by a 37th place finish at Talladega in which she ran only 18 laps due to overheating). The Talladega race is her only DNF of the year. She's doing great considering the lack of funding she has to deal with. By contrast, The Bimbo, in just about the best equipment money can buy, has stats of 15.4-21.0 and 3 DNF's. The Bimbo also leads Johanna in excuses for non-performance by about 23 quadrillion to zero. And speaking of The Bimbo...
Payback Is A ... Well, You Know
Good for Sam Hornish, Jr. for not putting up with The Bimbo's crap. The Bimbo puts him into the wall on the cooldown lap at Talladega, Sam retaliates with a well-timed (and COMPLETELY UNINTENTIONAL *cough, cough*) tap at Dover that basically ends her day. Good going, Sam! Unfortunately, there was a bit of collateral damage, as Brad Sweet got caught up in it. Wrong place, wrong time, etc.
NASCAR Sends Another Message
NASCAR probation has been universally scoffed at and mocked. It is (or was) completely toothless; it was their way of saying "stop...or I'll say 'stop' again". It meant nothing. Well, their suspension of Maxi Douche after his incident with writer Bob Pockrass after the Dover Nationwide race was a message to all drivers: when you're on probation, don't piss us off, or we WILL do something about it. Message received (I think). BTW, if the NASCAR media were polled off the record, I'm sure most of them would rather interview Maxi or even Mini Douche (as long as they had taken their meds) than interview Bent Sh!tcan, whose grating monotone drives everybody up the wall.
A Job Lost, A Job Saved?
I think this might have been Maxi Douche's last chance. It's a good thing that the contract between him and car owner James Finch was a handshake deal and not in writing. Finch was already having a hard time finding sponsors for the 51, but now (with the possible exception of Jerry Springer's offer, which I think is just a publicity stunt...but what a fitting driver to sponsor) I doubt any top-tier or even mid-tier sponsor would touch the 51 with a 10 foot pole as long as Maxi is behind the wheel. On the other side of things, did the win at Pocono save Burnt Toast's job in the 20 car? As much as I'd like to say that it's The Coach's call on that one, sadly the call will probably be made by Home Depot. Yep, sponsors run NASCAR these days, especially big name sponsors like HD. If they want somebody else behind the wheel of the 20 next year (this is the final year of BT's contract), then The Coach will be forced to make a change. Gotta keep the big money guys happy.
Could It Happen?
We all know that the dreaded disease know as "The Chase for the Sprint Cup" was the kneejerk reaction to Matt Kenseth winning the 2003 championship going away despite only winning one race all year. Thus far in 2012, the most consistent driver in the Cup series is also one of the drivers who hasn't won this year: that's right, it's June Bug. Wouldn't it be a nice thumb in the eye of Brain Dead and the other chuckleheads-in-charge if June Bug won the championship this year and didn't win a race? You'd be able to hear the cementheads exploding all the way here in Orlando.
TNT Takes Charge
TNT telecasted the Pocono race and has the next five races before ESPN takes over. For the first time all year I could actually see more than two cars on the track at the same time. What a concept! And while the guys in the booth aren't as bad as FOX's crew, they've got some improving to do. Still, nothing beats a "boogity"-less green flag to start a race.
Drunk, Lazy, And Stupid Is No Way To Go Through Life, Son...
Especially if you're the chairman and CEO of a major sports organization. But Brain Dead manages to pull it off. On May 19th, just before the Sprint All-Star Race, he stated that he's pleased with the 2012 season: "It's been a good, solid year". Really? For whom? Maybe for you, because you're making a boat-load of cash, and The Felon is keeping your liquor cabinet fully-stocked with his weekly "donations", but what about the fans? It doesn't appears to have been such a great year for most of them, if you go by TV ratings and race attendence. Almost every track now has several sections covered by flags, tarps, or sponsor banners to attempt to hide all of the empty seats. Blimp shots of the stands get cut off abruptly once the large sections of uncovered empty seats come into view. There are no official race attendence numbers; everything is fudged. That's why you'll see numbers like "100,000" or "80,000" for race attendence. Most are completely bogus and insult the intelligence of most of the fans at the race or those watching (in decreasing numbers) at home on TV. Speaking of the All-Star Race...
The All-Star Debacle
This season, the Sprint All-Star Race was advertised as the only major sport All-Star contest in which the participants are actually trying. Considering what the NFL Pro Bowl has degraded to lately, that wouldn't be a difficult statement to make. And it has that potential: no points are on the line, and the winner gets a cool million bucks. There won't be any "points racing", so everybody can just go for it. Well, that's not quite what happened this year. The winners of the first three segments played possum at the back of the field after they won their segment, and then raced hard during the final 10 lap segment that decided the race. It was a monumental pile of horse dung. I don't want to hear about how those three drivers were "employing strategy by not using their cars up". Bull crap! After Bent Sh!tcan won the first segment then started the second segment a full straightaway behind the field, driving about as fast as my 82 year old mother, the whole thing went to hell. Someone from NASCAR should have been on the phone to the 48 team and told them that if the 48 didn't move up to the pack and race like he had a pair, he would be parked for the remainder of the race. "Sorry...no balls, no million bucks. If we wanted to see someone drive like that, we'd have put your wife behind the wheel." My solution for this mess is a simple one: make it a 100 lap race with no segments. Period. No mandatory pit stops. Stop when you need to or under caution. Determining the participants would also be simple: anybody who won a race between last year's ASR and this year's ASR gets in, as do past ASR winners. That's it. No bogus fan vote, no heat races. I can dream, can't I?
An Update On The Best Female Driver In NASCAR
And of course, it's not The Bimbo. It's Johanna Long. I wrote about her after Daytona, and, after being prodded by a couple of readers after my last article, I'll do it again now, and I'll continue to do it later in the year. The recently-turned 20 year old from Pensacola, driving for the under-funded ML Motorsports in the number 70 car, has now run 8 races this year, with an average starting position of 21.0 and an average finish of 23.8 (skewed by a 37th place finish at Talladega in which she ran only 18 laps due to overheating). The Talladega race is her only DNF of the year. She's doing great considering the lack of funding she has to deal with. By contrast, The Bimbo, in just about the best equipment money can buy, has stats of 15.4-21.0 and 3 DNF's. The Bimbo also leads Johanna in excuses for non-performance by about 23 quadrillion to zero. And speaking of The Bimbo...
Payback Is A ... Well, You Know
Good for Sam Hornish, Jr. for not putting up with The Bimbo's crap. The Bimbo puts him into the wall on the cooldown lap at Talladega, Sam retaliates with a well-timed (and COMPLETELY UNINTENTIONAL *cough, cough*) tap at Dover that basically ends her day. Good going, Sam! Unfortunately, there was a bit of collateral damage, as Brad Sweet got caught up in it. Wrong place, wrong time, etc.
NASCAR Sends Another Message
NASCAR probation has been universally scoffed at and mocked. It is (or was) completely toothless; it was their way of saying "stop...or I'll say 'stop' again". It meant nothing. Well, their suspension of Maxi Douche after his incident with writer Bob Pockrass after the Dover Nationwide race was a message to all drivers: when you're on probation, don't piss us off, or we WILL do something about it. Message received (I think). BTW, if the NASCAR media were polled off the record, I'm sure most of them would rather interview Maxi or even Mini Douche (as long as they had taken their meds) than interview Bent Sh!tcan, whose grating monotone drives everybody up the wall.
A Job Lost, A Job Saved?
I think this might have been Maxi Douche's last chance. It's a good thing that the contract between him and car owner James Finch was a handshake deal and not in writing. Finch was already having a hard time finding sponsors for the 51, but now (with the possible exception of Jerry Springer's offer, which I think is just a publicity stunt...but what a fitting driver to sponsor) I doubt any top-tier or even mid-tier sponsor would touch the 51 with a 10 foot pole as long as Maxi is behind the wheel. On the other side of things, did the win at Pocono save Burnt Toast's job in the 20 car? As much as I'd like to say that it's The Coach's call on that one, sadly the call will probably be made by Home Depot. Yep, sponsors run NASCAR these days, especially big name sponsors like HD. If they want somebody else behind the wheel of the 20 next year (this is the final year of BT's contract), then The Coach will be forced to make a change. Gotta keep the big money guys happy.
Could It Happen?
We all know that the dreaded disease know as "The Chase for the Sprint Cup" was the kneejerk reaction to Matt Kenseth winning the 2003 championship going away despite only winning one race all year. Thus far in 2012, the most consistent driver in the Cup series is also one of the drivers who hasn't won this year: that's right, it's June Bug. Wouldn't it be a nice thumb in the eye of Brain Dead and the other chuckleheads-in-charge if June Bug won the championship this year and didn't win a race? You'd be able to hear the cementheads exploding all the way here in Orlando.
TNT Takes Charge
TNT telecasted the Pocono race and has the next five races before ESPN takes over. For the first time all year I could actually see more than two cars on the track at the same time. What a concept! And while the guys in the booth aren't as bad as FOX's crew, they've got some improving to do. Still, nothing beats a "boogity"-less green flag to start a race.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Random Ramblings
By John "Dawg" Chapman
Random Ramblings
Denny Hamlin wins his first race with new Crew Chef Darien Grubb. We
get a spate of stories about who'll be the winner of the CC battle
between Darien, & Tony's new CC Steve Addington. Then Tony, &
Steve answer with one of their own. More stories, Tony, & Steve pull
ahead, & we get even more stories, then Denny, & Darien, even things
up at 2 all. Oh well, I guess this gives all of us something pretty
mindless to write about.
It seems to me that no one has really asked the right question.
That would seem to be, who was the real loser in this deal. It seems
pretty evident, that would be Roger Penske, AJ Allmendinger, & the
entire 22 crew. Not that I blame Steve for leaving. Given the
information he had at the time, I agree with it. I only wonder if he
could have known about Kurt getting the heave ho, would he still have
left. Dinger may not be the driver Kurt is…yet, but I watched
him drive the final stint in the 24 Hours of Daytona, this guy can
wheel a car, & he doesn't rattle easily under pressure. He's a lot
better than the car he's been given, to date.
I've been reading stories for weeks now, about the Indy 500 going on
without Danica. What no one, (until now) has seen fit to mention is
that it's going to go on without Sam Hornish also. I mean Sam's not
only a former winner, but an Indy Car Champion as well. He just doesn't
have as good a press agent, or look as good in a bathing suit.
While I'm thinking about Danica, after watching most of the NNW
races, it's pretty evident that she's in over her head in the
Nationwide cars. A season in the ARCA series probably would have been
much better for her development. It just wouldn't have been nearly as
good exposure for her sponsor. If she's over her head in Nationwide,
she'd need an extension ladder to see out of the hole she's in, with
Cup. I guess she's not too worried about damaging her "brand," as
it doesn't seem to be performance based anyway.
I don't know about you but I've heard about all I want to from the
talking heads trying to spin her various laps down runs. No she's not
wrecking her car. That doesn't happen when you run at 75%. I just
finished a 444mi. bike ride. I'm about as ready for the Tour De
France, as Danica is for Cup next year. But to quote one of my
favorites, JJ Cale, "money talks, It says strange things."
Contrary to what you might think, I'm not anti Danica; I am however
very anti the hype, & the sense of entitlement that surrounds her.
I said in the pre-season that Chip Ganassi, had lots of work to do
this year. Chip must have agreed with me. I think he called last
season's results pathetic. The organization made sweeping changes.
Only problem is, they don't seem to be working. Currently his cars
stand 19th, & 22nd, in owner points. I don't know when his contract
with Bass Pro Shops, is up, but if it were me. I don't think I'd feel
too confident seeing the PBS logo all over Tony's stuff, both Cup &
Sprint Cars. Winning a race, didn't save the 6 car, I'm not sure it
would save the 1 either. My suspicion is that it needs to make the
chase. At this point, it's going to have to be a wild card. It would
be a real shame to see this team that used to field a combined total
of 7 cars, shrink to a single entry. But it could happen.
Congratulations to Chip on his Indy 500 victory, but he's got lots
of work to do in Cup.
Think about this, how many stories have you read about Jr.
winning? Kasey Khane's 600 victory, kind of puts a period on this
story. Jr's having a very good points season, he will make the Chase,
but he's not really contending for wins. That door doesn't always
swing open on its own. Sometimes you have to batter it down. JJ gave
Rick his 200th Kasey, his 201st. If Jr. wants to join the party this
team needs to step it up.
Speaking about stepping it up, how about the King's cars locking up
the front row for the 600. I think they made a very good move picking
up Mike Ford. Their speed was blazing in qualifying, but it fell off
precipitously in race trim. Marcos was running like the 9 used to
run, before the hub problem took him out of contention. Maybe not
this year, but Marcus will win on an oval if they can secure
sufficient funding to keep things going.
I hated to see Erich fade, but I thought he did pretty well for
someone learning on the job. Kyle Busch's stated purpose was
to have fun this year. I wonder if he's having fun yet?
His recent meltdown at Darlington, probably didn't help his chances
any too much. He's really lucky he was able to hide from Newman's
irate tire carrier. Man, that guy was way bigger than Jimmy Spencer,
& just as mad.
One thing I've noticed is that James still hasn't been able to
attract a paying sponsor. His wallet must be getting thinner by the
week
Talking about stepping it up, what's the deal with Jeff, & the 24
crew. It's like the Rainbow Warriors, have been struck by lightning.
This is so uncharacteristic for this team. Maybe Jeff needs a jolt.
He should talk to Bobby Labonte, about what it's like when you fall
from the mountain top.
Last season we had the most first time winners that I can remember.
This season, it's another story. Three multiple winners already, & I
doubt any of them are finished, with wins clustered like this. I
expect the Wild Card entry this year may be very different. We could
see 3 or 4 teams with single wins. Two wins, will be pretty much a
lock, but with 1 they better have the points to back them up.
Speaking of first time winners, my money's still on the Dinger. But
the Captain's going to have to get the team up to speed.
To sum this up, a friend of mine owns a music store. I recently
purchased a CD by an artist that I really like. Next time I say him,
he asked me how I liked it. I told him that "if I wasn't already a
fan, it wouldn't make me one."That statement pretty much sums up my
feelings on the Cup season so far, as well.
As this was finished on Memorial Day, My hat is off to all the
Veterans. As the red necks like to say on the back window of their pickups:
"Hell No We Ain't Forgettin' ".
Thank You.
Random Ramblings
Denny Hamlin wins his first race with new Crew Chef Darien Grubb. We
get a spate of stories about who'll be the winner of the CC battle
between Darien, & Tony's new CC Steve Addington. Then Tony, &
Steve answer with one of their own. More stories, Tony, & Steve pull
ahead, & we get even more stories, then Denny, & Darien, even things
up at 2 all. Oh well, I guess this gives all of us something pretty
mindless to write about.
It seems to me that no one has really asked the right question.
That would seem to be, who was the real loser in this deal. It seems
pretty evident, that would be Roger Penske, AJ Allmendinger, & the
entire 22 crew. Not that I blame Steve for leaving. Given the
information he had at the time, I agree with it. I only wonder if he
could have known about Kurt getting the heave ho, would he still have
left. Dinger may not be the driver Kurt is…yet, but I watched
him drive the final stint in the 24 Hours of Daytona, this guy can
wheel a car, & he doesn't rattle easily under pressure. He's a lot
better than the car he's been given, to date.
I've been reading stories for weeks now, about the Indy 500 going on
without Danica. What no one, (until now) has seen fit to mention is
that it's going to go on without Sam Hornish also. I mean Sam's not
only a former winner, but an Indy Car Champion as well. He just doesn't
have as good a press agent, or look as good in a bathing suit.
While I'm thinking about Danica, after watching most of the NNW
races, it's pretty evident that she's in over her head in the
Nationwide cars. A season in the ARCA series probably would have been
much better for her development. It just wouldn't have been nearly as
good exposure for her sponsor. If she's over her head in Nationwide,
she'd need an extension ladder to see out of the hole she's in, with
Cup. I guess she's not too worried about damaging her "brand," as
it doesn't seem to be performance based anyway.
I don't know about you but I've heard about all I want to from the
talking heads trying to spin her various laps down runs. No she's not
wrecking her car. That doesn't happen when you run at 75%. I just
finished a 444mi. bike ride. I'm about as ready for the Tour De
France, as Danica is for Cup next year. But to quote one of my
favorites, JJ Cale, "money talks, It says strange things."
Contrary to what you might think, I'm not anti Danica; I am however
very anti the hype, & the sense of entitlement that surrounds her.
I said in the pre-season that Chip Ganassi, had lots of work to do
this year. Chip must have agreed with me. I think he called last
season's results pathetic. The organization made sweeping changes.
Only problem is, they don't seem to be working. Currently his cars
stand 19th, & 22nd, in owner points. I don't know when his contract
with Bass Pro Shops, is up, but if it were me. I don't think I'd feel
too confident seeing the PBS logo all over Tony's stuff, both Cup &
Sprint Cars. Winning a race, didn't save the 6 car, I'm not sure it
would save the 1 either. My suspicion is that it needs to make the
chase. At this point, it's going to have to be a wild card. It would
be a real shame to see this team that used to field a combined total
of 7 cars, shrink to a single entry. But it could happen.
Congratulations to Chip on his Indy 500 victory, but he's got lots
of work to do in Cup.
Think about this, how many stories have you read about Jr.
winning? Kasey Khane's 600 victory, kind of puts a period on this
story. Jr's having a very good points season, he will make the Chase,
but he's not really contending for wins. That door doesn't always
swing open on its own. Sometimes you have to batter it down. JJ gave
Rick his 200th Kasey, his 201st. If Jr. wants to join the party this
team needs to step it up.
Speaking about stepping it up, how about the King's cars locking up
the front row for the 600. I think they made a very good move picking
up Mike Ford. Their speed was blazing in qualifying, but it fell off
precipitously in race trim. Marcos was running like the 9 used to
run, before the hub problem took him out of contention. Maybe not
this year, but Marcus will win on an oval if they can secure
sufficient funding to keep things going.
I hated to see Erich fade, but I thought he did pretty well for
someone learning on the job. Kyle Busch's stated purpose was
to have fun this year. I wonder if he's having fun yet?
His recent meltdown at Darlington, probably didn't help his chances
any too much. He's really lucky he was able to hide from Newman's
irate tire carrier. Man, that guy was way bigger than Jimmy Spencer,
& just as mad.
One thing I've noticed is that James still hasn't been able to
attract a paying sponsor. His wallet must be getting thinner by the
week
Talking about stepping it up, what's the deal with Jeff, & the 24
crew. It's like the Rainbow Warriors, have been struck by lightning.
This is so uncharacteristic for this team. Maybe Jeff needs a jolt.
He should talk to Bobby Labonte, about what it's like when you fall
from the mountain top.
Last season we had the most first time winners that I can remember.
This season, it's another story. Three multiple winners already, & I
doubt any of them are finished, with wins clustered like this. I
expect the Wild Card entry this year may be very different. We could
see 3 or 4 teams with single wins. Two wins, will be pretty much a
lock, but with 1 they better have the points to back them up.
Speaking of first time winners, my money's still on the Dinger. But
the Captain's going to have to get the team up to speed.
To sum this up, a friend of mine owns a music store. I recently
purchased a CD by an artist that I really like. Next time I say him,
he asked me how I liked it. I told him that "if I wasn't already a
fan, it wouldn't make me one."That statement pretty much sums up my
feelings on the Cup season so far, as well.
As this was finished on Memorial Day, My hat is off to all the
Veterans. As the red necks like to say on the back window of their pickups:
"Hell No We Ain't Forgettin' ".
Thank You.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
The Hot Seat
By Dawg Chapman
Unless you're like the guy in the insurance commercial, & live under a rock.Just why this guy would need insurance always puzzled me, but you get
the idea.
Then you know that as of this writing, a winning Cup seat just become
available, on very short notice. This came about because of a mutual
agreement between Penske, Shell, & Kurt Busch. This strikes me as pretty
significant, because it's probably the only time Bush has been agreeable the
entire season. In a few short months, I'm going to agree to pay my taxes.
It's pretty much the same deal, I expect.
This has to be considers a real serendipitous stroke of luck. Just when some
name drivers had pretty much given up hope of landing a quality ride for 2012,
& were sifting through the available rides. Looking, I'm sure for something
that offered a glimmer of turning into something more than another year of
just hanging on in Cup.
The names most often mentioned are David Reagan, Brian Vickers, David
Reutimann, & Sam Hornish Jr. It's a shame that Clint Bowyer had settled for a seat owned by in his words, "the worst driver in NASCAR." Hmmm, I wonder if there's anything like the "10 second rule" applying to NASCAR contracts? Maybe it could be annulled like a marriage that was never consummated. I really like Clint, but I'll
be unable to pull for him as long as he's driving for Super Shill, but I digress.
One thing that I noticed, was that Elliott Sadler's name was never
mentioned.
I do have a few fantasy picks, & I'm sure you probably do too.
I'd love to see Bobby Labonte, in a good car again. This isn't a put down
of the 47, but as a single car team, they have lots of room for improvement.
Getting out from under Super Shill's umbrella is a good first step, but there's
a lot more steps to be taken before they get to where they want to be. I doubt
Bobby's got time to make the trip. Terry got a similar chance with Hendrick,
late in his career & picked up a second Championship, as a result. Who knows,
maybe lightning could strike twice?
Another good choice, & my personal favorite, would be Robby Gordon.
After 6 Busch years, (sort of like dog years) having Robby on board,
would seem a lot less difficult. Robby's been plowing pretty rocky ground
the last couple of years, & might have a different outlook on being a
little more of an organization man now.
One spot that's empty in Robby's crowded trophy case is for the Indy 500.
If an Indy seat were part of the deal. This could be the perfect win, win
situation for all involved. Another plus that Robby could bring, would be
a ton of very loyal, hard core fans. Way more than any of the other drivers
being considered.
It's no secret, that I think Dave Blaney has been on the short end of
the stick, his NASCAR entire career. I'd dearly love to see what he
could do in a top ride. Again, no disrespect to the 36. I'm happy that
Dave's got a full time ride, that is actually able to race, but...well, you
know.
At this time, it looks like David Ragan his the inside track on the ride,
& of the drivers most mentioned, he's probably the best choice.
One thing is certain, he'll never embarrass the organization, or the
sponsor the way Kurt did.
Whoever ends up in the seat next season, is going to find it a
"hot seat." They're not going to measure up to the criteria that
Shell wants in a driver, so it's sounding like they will be on a one
year contract.
When you consider the alternatives, any driver that's offered the ride,
will jump at the deal. But they need to consider it a year long try out,
& a year like they had this year won't cut it.
Another driver who's in a pretty hot seat, would be Kyle.
I really think both of the Busch Brats should be looking for work
now, but neither his sponsor, or owner was willing to take that
step.....Yet.
I've said several times that "I don't see Kyle as a candy salesman."
One more embarrassing temper tantrum, & Mars/M & M may well
come to the same conclusion.
You can conact Dawg HERE
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