Hype, Lotus, Dakar,Bill Lester, & Other Things

Let the Hype Begin
　
If you’ve seen the commercials for the Daytona 500 on Focks during the football play-offs, you’ll have noticed that it’s not the race that’s being hyped but NA$CAR’s celebrity spokesmodel that’s being hyped. She has yet to turn one competitive lap in a Cup car at Daytona and yet the hype is overwhelming. So when the race isn’t in the “All Waltrip All the Time” mode, it’ll be in the “All Danican’t All the Time” mode.
　
Cruel & Unusual Punishment?
　
For those fans who may have missed the announcement, Focks will have both of the Motormouth brothers on Focks during the race broadcast. As usual, Jabber Jaws will be in the booth with Motormouth Mikey being in the Hollyweird Motel bumping Hollyweird Hambone to the position of roving reporter. With both Motormouth brothers flapping their gums fast enough to break the sound barrier while they‘re cheerleading & shilling, don’t expect to hear anyone else get a word in edge-wise. Not even Larry Mac with his new Larry Mac to English Dictionary.
　
Could this be a deliberate attempt by Focks to drive their ratings down to rock bottom so when the TV contract renewal comes up they can go cheap? Something to think about.
　
Daytona Testing
　
When the Cup teams went to Daytona to test, Robin Pemberton stated that the teams would race in packs. That was a statement, not a suggestion, which means that once again NA$CAR is trying to mandate driver actions and help manipulate the race similar to what Bill France Sr did at Talladega back in the 60’s when the well-known drivers of the time went on strike because they felt the speeds were too high and that the tires couldn’t handle it leaving a bunch of relative unknowns to compete. Bill France Sr dictated how fast the cars would be driven. What we’re seeing now is the same sort of manipulation to make the race artificially exciting rather than let the drivers actually race, even if it is the two car Brokeback racing we’ve seen the last couple of years.
　
Missing from the pack racing practice on the last day was SHR which packed up and went home. Considering that NA$CAR’s Celebrity Spokesmodel didn’t have the opportunity to participate in the pack practice, odds are you can expect to see her involved in “The Big One”.
　
Lotus News
　
Simona Di Silvestro took the new Lotus Indy car through its paces at Palm Beach International Raceway and Sebring International Raceway. From what I’ve read, Lotus will be running both of their famous livery colors. The BRG & yellow and the black & gold. So for whichever era of Lotus racing you enjoyed, you’ll see a reminder of it.
　
Dragon Racing, owned by Jay Penske, will be fielding the new Lotus car with Sebastien Bourdais and Katherine Legge behind the wheel. That now makes 2 female drivers behind the wheels of Lotus cars in IndyCar. It’ll be interesting to see Katherine and Simona compare notes of their cars and set-ups while the new car is going through testing. Lotus plans to put 1,000 miles on the current test engine before the testing at Homestead on Jan 23-24. That’s about what Lotus figures to be about half the life cycle of the engine.
　
On the F-1 side of the Lotus effort, they pioneered an adjustable suspension system which works off of the braking system. Since the driver cannot make the adjustments from the cockpit, FIA has ruled it’s legal despite numerous complaints from other F-1 teams. Once again, we’re seeing racing innovation being made. Hello? NA$CAR?
　
Dakar Rally
　
While Robby Gordon didn’t win the rally, he did win a stage or two of it. However, despite having been passed, the sanctioning body said that Robby ran an illegal engine then changed it to illegal duct work doing their best imitation of NA$CAR changing rules in mid-race. Apparently politics came into play after Robby won the final stage of the Rally. It seems that Peterhansel (no, that’s not a German bedroom toy) was supposed to win the last stage but Robby rocked the boat on that one. In an earlier stage of the rally, Robby was trying to pass Peterhansel using the rally’s equivalent to a horn (called a sentinel) however Peterhansel refused to move over and allow the faster Gordon to pass him. Peterhansel should’ve been penalized but wasn’t. Robby had some “kind words” for the Dakar Rally sanctioning body, ASO. One was he might be back next year. The second was “They can kiss my a$$”. While it was a learning experience for Robby, he’s also found another sanctioning body that likes to change rules in mid-race.　

RPM & Busch
　
In one of those “No Duh” statements, RPM stated that the reason they didn’t sign Busch the Elder was that he was poison to sponsors. And it took The King how long to figure that out? I guess he’s getting a little bit slower with age.
　
Then there’s also the Roush Factor. Considering what Busch the Elder did and said about Roush when he drove for Roush racing, there’s still a lot of animosity there and since Roush builds the engines and cars for RPM, it’s a sure bet that The King wouldn’t have had any new cars or engines had he signed Busch the Elder.
　
Busch the Elder must be anticipating getting a number of black eyes this season as he’s signed with an eyewear company for sponsorship on the Phoenix Racing car. Last black eye I seem to remember Busch the Elder had came at the hands of Mr Excitement, Jimmy Spencer. However, Busch the Elder has given a number of black eyes to team owners & sponsors. So being able to hide a black eye is important and I’m sure those sunglasses will do a good job.
　
As to the length of Busch the Elder’s tenure at Phoenix Racing, I’d say it’ll last as long as his past chump provisionals are needed. Then he’ll get the boot the same way Bill Elliott did.
　
200 MPH Mustang Coming in 2014
　
When Ford revamps the Mustang for its 60^th anniversary celebration, the GT-500 and Mustang Cobra will be equipped with turbo V-8’s that will allow this street car to reach 200 MPH. And as it will be a production model and meets the basic eligibility requirements of a production car, will NA$CAR allow this car to be raced? After all, it is a stock car and isn’t racing stock cars what NA$CAR is supposed to be about?
　
Bill Lester Rides Again
　
After being unceremoniously dumped by Autohaus despite a 2^nd place season finish, Bill will be back on track in the #18 Muehlner Motorsports Porsche GT 3 for the 24 Hours of Daytona. As it currently stands, this is a one race deal however, I’m sure it will go beyond that based on Bill’s skills and previous experience.
　
Old Dog, Same Old Tricks
　
Johnny Benson was planning to make a comeback in 2012 in the Truck Series right up until his sponsor was stolen by NA$CAR’s conjoined incestuous twin I$C to sponsor a race at Michigan. NA$CAR and I$C stealing sponsors is nothing new. They’ve been doing it for decades. However, in these tough economic times, you’d think that with TV contract money coming in and having plenty of sponsors of their own, that they’d leave the sponsor of a popular and well-liked driver like Johnny Benson alone so he could help put butts in the grandstands. But greed trumps common sense once again in the Ivory Towers of Daytona.
　
Stolen Laptop
　
In case you missed it, there was a laptop containing drivers’ and NA$CAR officials names and other information that belonged to Aegis Labs that was stolen a while back. Naturally, NA$CAR & Aegis Labs said there was nothing important on the computer and that the laptop was probably in a pawn shop. Wouldn’t it be funny if it turned up on E-Bay with all that supposedly unimportant information on it going to the highest bidder? Or if somebody’s, like Faux King Brian’s, ID was stolen. I can just hear it now. His Royal Highness on the phone talking to Mister Card about a charge on his card. “What do you mean I sent Jeremy Mayfield two dozen roses, a box of chocolates, and a note saying ‘Come back. All is forgiven XOXOXO’?”. Or John Darby talking to American Excuse, “What do you mean I bought a lifetime membership in the Hair Club for Men?”. Or Shrubbery talking to Whiner’s Club, “What do you mean I sent a ton of M&M’s to a diabetic ward? Oh wait, I did. Never mind”.

Sanity?, RGM 2nd Hummer, Lotus, Cotton Owens, & More

RGM Fielding 2^nd Hummer for Dakar Rally

　
Robby Gordon is fielding a second Hummer for the Dakar Rally with 2011 Dakar Champion Nasser Al-Attiyah as the driver.

Sanity?

　
You have to wonder what Stewart is thinking by firing his championship crew chief Darian Grubb. When was the last time a Super Bowl winning football team dumped their coach? When was the last time a race team owner fired a championship winning crew chief? It really makes you wonder if maybe Tony needs to be taking some medication.
　
Of course, by hiring Addington, he’s hiring a crew chief who is use to being abused and berated by the likes of the Busch brothers. So that is one plus in his favor.
　
Maybe Darian should go have a chat with another Floyd VA native Jeff Agnew about being his crew chief on Jeff’s Truck Series team? It may not have the glory of being a Cup team but they’d get the support of a lot of the county’s 14,000 residents.
　

Jimmy Clark's 1965 Lotus Type 38

Lotus Advantage for DW12 Car

　
It seems that with the rear weight problems that seem to be occurring with the DW12 car that IndyCar is testing, Lotus may have a decided advantage. They produced an engine that is lighter than both the Honda and GM engines. This could give the returning Lotus a handling advantage on both the ovals and road courses. As it stands right now, the GM and Honda powered cars don’t seem to do that well on the oval tracks because of the weight issues and lack of thrust. So this could make Lotus the king of the oval tracks.
　
Speaking of Lotus, it was announced that Simona Di Silvestro will be sporting the traditional Lotus colors next season. That should bring back a few memories for those of us who remember the glory days of Lotus with Jimmy Clark at the wheel.
　

DROP AND GIVE ME 20 MAGGOT!

Perfect Crew Chief for Busch Brothers 

　
Considering the amount of abuse the crew chiefs for the Busch brothers have taken, I think I’ve figured out who would be the perfect crew chief for them. Retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant R. Lee Ermey. He wouldn’t take any lip off of either of them and would break them down into nice, polite, civilized human adults instead of their current status of spoiled brats. I can just hear him telling Schrubbery, ”Drop and give me 20 maggot!”. He might not win a race as a crew chief but he’d win some hearts and minds in the garage and the grandstands.
　

The Hype Has Already Faded

　
The championship hasn’t even been decided a week and already the hype is fading from not only the lamestream media but also NA$CAR’s controlled, Kool Aid drinking media. What does that really say about the significance of not just Stewart’s win but of NA$CAR overall?
　

Interesting Coincidence

　
We had 5 championships in a row won by a convicted felon team owner. This season, the championship was won by a convicted felon team co-owner who bought cars from the convicted felon team owner.
　
And while the convicted felon co-owner was serving his time, who was given stewardship of his team and made some major mistakes in paying personnel and their federal income taxes? The same convicted felon team owner that he buys generic race vehicles from.
　

Another Coincidence?

　
With the comparisons of NA$CAR being like the WWE on the rise since 2003 and having WWE Hall of Famer Sgt Slaughter as the Grand Marshal for the Busch Series race at Homestead, you really have to wonder. By having Sgt Slaughter as the Grand Marshal, it confirms to some folks that NA$CAR is “in bed” so to speak with the WWE. The scripts for the races being too close to the scripts being used by the WWE.
　
If you look at Tony Stewart’s wins in the Chase for the Chumps, it’s much too close to the classic Hulk Hogan script. And the Homestead race was even more like the classic Hulk Hogan script. Tony started good then went back to 40^th after some repairs were made. And like Hogan after being beat down by his opponent, Tony makes the miraculous recovery and goes on to win the race in much the same way Hogan would suddenly finds a reserve of strength to come back and beat his opponent in the ring.
　
So you have to wonder. Will Vince McMahon be the Grand Marshal for the 2012 WWE, I mean 2012 Daytona 500?

Good Luck Dustin Long

　
I don’t know how many folks have read Dustin’s work over the years but the paper he works for just decided to downsize and eliminated his position just like a lot of other newspapers have done. While he still has his job writing an occasional article for Sports Illustrated, he won’t be going back to his normal newspaper reporting. I may not have always agreed with what Dustin wrote, just like folks don’t always agree with me, but he did a good job of reporting and was innovative with his own fan council, Backseat Drivers Fan Council, in using their ideas and opinions to show what the fans truly thought about what was happening on the track unlike the NA$CAR fan council which is nothing more than a marketing research operation. Hopefully a major news operation will snap Dustin up so he can continue with his reporting of NA$CAR and use his ideas to really get a true feel of what race fans think.
　

A Little Bit of History

　
I don’t know how many folks have watched the movie “The Last American Hero” with Jeff Bridges, a movie based loosely on the life of Junior Johnson, but go back and have another look at it. You’ll see Jeff “driving” the #00 car. The car is actually Busch Series Champion Sam Ard’s car.
　
And speaking of Sam Ard, he and his wife are still in need of help. If you can help them out with donations or can do some repairs on their house, it would be greatly appreciated.
　

Going Bananas

　
I hope the Charlotte tourism folks aren’t thinking that Chiquita moving into the office building next to the NA$CAR Hall of Fantasies is going to get them off the hook financially with the Charlotte taxpayers. Do they really think the Chiquita folks will go bananas over being next to the HOF and spend all their free time visiting it? Plus the tax breaks that Chiquita will get, rumored to be between 50%-90%, isn’t really going to endear them to the Charlotte taxpayers either although it will result in some jobs with the company. Know matter how you slice it, the HOF is a financial disaster for the taxpayers of Charlotte and will never see any black ink.
　

RCR Auctioning Off #33 Team Equipment

　
With the #33 team officially shut down, RCR is using Iron Horse Auction Company to sell off the equipment from the #33 team. This is also the same company used by Jeremy Mayfield to sell off his race team gear and equipment along with some personal property. I hope RCR isn’t planning to get a lot of money off of the Camry’s Of Today they’ll be selling. No other racing series uses them and Mayfield was only able to get about $8500 for one of the generic race vehicles he had for sale. That’s less than what teams get for the old “Twisted Sister” cars which usually pull in at between $10,000-$30,000.
　

Racing Great Battling Cancer

　
Both Cotton Owens, legendary owner & driver, and his wife are both battling cancer right now. So if you can add them to your prayers or keep them in your thoughts it would be appreciated.
　

IndyCar Viewership & Attendance Up 2 Years in a Row

　
While NASCAR has been beating their chest over the fact that their races TV ratings were up but nowhere what they were in 2008, IndyCar’s viewership was up 28% overall. Race attendance was up 22%. Compare this to what we’ve seen NA$CAR do this past season with attendance being off at the majority of its tracks and ratings. Up 3% for BSPN/ABC, 16% for TNT, and 9% on Focks.
　
The attendance figures for NA$CAR that have been released can’t be trusted as we’ve seen races claimed to be sell-outs had ¼-½ their seats empty plus tracks removing seating or changing their seating to give fans more room. Bruton reports an 8.8% decrease in attendance through September 2011 when compared to the same time in 2010 according to the SEC filings. I$C has an 8.7% decrease in attendance in comparison to the same time in 2010.
　
“INDYCAR had one of its strongest years in growth on TV and in live audience in 15 years on the last year of our current car. We believe that the new car along with Honda, Chevy and Lotus coming into the IZOD INDYCAR Series will help the sport show positive momentum for 2012” said Randy Bernard, IndyCar’s head honcho. I predicted that IndyCar’s new car, the DW12, would increase their TV ratings several months back and it seems to be reflected in Bernard’s opinion. I guess we’ll see what happens next season.
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　

Dakar Rally Day 2 - Team Hummer

Before we get into Day 2 of Dakar, the results of the latest poll.

Which term do you prefer using to describe the National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing?

60% prefer NA$CAR, 25% prefer CRAPCAR, 10% prefer NASCAR AND 5% prefer NAZICAR. my thanks to all who participated in that poll.


Now on to Dakar Day 2. Things didn’t go quite as planned on Day 2. Besides the muddy terrain, Team Hummer had a slight problem. After successfully negotiating 3 checkpoints, Robby missed a corner, went off the course, and hit a rather large rock causing some damage to the front end and losing reverse gear. This set them back over an hour for repairs and dropped them back to 21st overall in the standings. That means Robby’s got a lot of ground to make up and has very little margin for errors over the next couple of stages.

In this video on YouTube, you can see the rock they ran into plus Robby getting some help from some locals trying to get the Hummer off of the rock.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuUQ47TC794


Robby’s teammate, Eliseo Salazar fished 28th, roughly 34.5 minutes behind Sainz.

Day 2 was won by a VW Touareg driven by Carlos Sainz of Spain. I have no idea how to pronounce the name of the vehicle and I was stationed in Germany for 5 years.

Day 3 is spilt into 2 segments totaling 226 kilometers. I don’t know how much ground Robby can make up on it but I sure hope it’s a lot considering day 2’s problems.

Dakar Rally Day 1 - Team Hummer

As there’s not much going on with the Beach Boy Bubbas, I’ve been trying to keep up with Team Hummer’s and Robby Gordon’s efforts. They didn’t seem to have any problems going through scrutineering, the Dakar Rally equivalent to NA$CAR’s tech inspection but much more involved as it includes safety equipment not found on Cup cars, lots of paperwork which must be carried, and a navigation system which is furnished by the sanctioning body, ASO. ASO’s scrutinizing is nothing like Frank Zappa’s Central Scrutinizer from the Joe’s Garage albums. Robby is well-known on the Dakar Rally circuit, around the globe, and had fans screaming out his name when he drove his Hummer out of the scrutineering area.

Eliseo Salazar is driving a second Hummer, the Speed Energy/Cristal CERO Hummer. As a native of Chile, he’ll have a big fan following on that part of the course and have the “home field” advantage over his competitors when they get to Chile.

This year, Team Hummer has 6 support vehicles: 2 6X6 Freightliners, 1 H1, 1 Chevy crew cab 4X4, 2 motorcycles. The plan is to have one Freightliner leading to the next bivouac and the other as the caboose with the two 4X4's in the middle. Each of the 6X6's will also have a motorcycle for quick response, something that would have been good to have last year. Last year, Team Hummer had what was basically a mobile motel. This year, the mobile motel was left home. Everybody gets to rough it in a tent, including Robby, Eliseo, and the other drivers and “co-pilots”.

The bike rider who won the Baja 1000 in 2010, Quinn Cody, will also be carrying the Speed Energy Drink sponsorship and colors on his #15 bike.

Unlike the same old, same old opening ceremonies we see week after week during the NA$CAR races, the Dakar Rally ceremonies seem to be a little more flexible and fluid to the moment. Some folks may have heard the term “jumping the shark”. Well, after the fans started screaming they wanted Robby to jump the podium in his Hummer during the opening ceremonies, ASO officials had a quick confab and gave Robby the “thumbs up” to go ahead and do it. Imagine how many weeks it would take NA$CAR to discuss whether or not a driver could jump the podium. You’ve got to give it to the ASO folks for giving the fans what they want, unlike NA$CAR.

It seems Stage 1 had it’s own set of unique problems that plagued everyone. Lots and lots of mud. Besides a communication problem between Robby and his navigator due to a failed microphone, they ran out of windshield washer fluid causing them to lose time, about 11 minutes, and go off road at one point. Robby’s teammate Eliseo Salazar finished Day 1 in 28^th place, 34 minutes, 25 seconds behind first place.

Day 2 is a mixed bag with narrow mountain roads and some rough terrain. As the Hummers don’t run a turbo-charged engine, they’ll probably lose some ground til they get to the rough terrain.

You can follow the Dakar Rally and the progress of Team Hummer at http://www.dakar.com/ or catch the daily half hour recap on Versus at 3:30 PM and at either 7:00 PM or 7:30 PM, depending on the night, so check your schedule.