Penske Stuff, Irony, Mystery Debris Solution, Subliminal Message, and Other Miscellany

Hendrick Decals On Penske Indy Cars
　
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this one out. Penske will be the lead Chevy team in IndyCar next season. Penske’s contract with Dodge also ends in 2012. The Queen of Hype will be driving for a Hendrick satellite team in the form of JR Motorsports next season in a full-time capacity. She has also threatened that she will be driving in the Indy 500 every year while she is in NA$CAR. Since she has managed to P.O. just about every team owner, engineer, strategist, crew chief, mechanic, driver, teammate, and pit crew in the garage through her temper tantrums, hissy fits, and inability to set up her own car, the only way she can get a ride boils down to somebody “buying” a ride for her and Slick Rick is the one who’ll be buying the ride.
　
Penske Has Sights Set on De Silvestro
　
Penske isn’t making any secrets about the fact that he wants Simona De Silvestro driving for Team Penske in IndyCar. Even with 2^nd degree burns on her hands, she attempted to run the Indy 500, which shows the signs of a true racer rather than a prima donna, spoiled driver. I think she and Team Penske will make a good match.
　
The Joke is Jabber Jaws, Not on Jabber Jaws
　
When Shrubbery spun out towards the end of the WWE 600 at Charlotte, good old Jabber Jaws immediately made the excuse that somebody had run into the rear of his car. Then on the replay, it was clear that there wasn’t a car within 3-4 car lengths of Shrubbery when he spun. Then Jabber Jaws trying making up yet another excuse for him spinning. Let’s face it, Jabber Jaws has become as big a joke in the announcing booth as he was at the end of his driving career. He needs to retire before he embarrasses himself any more than he already has.
　
Double Secret Probation Fine
　
It seems that Newman was secretly fined $50,000 for punching JPM. These sorts of fine are nothing new as we saw with Hamlin being sold out by a card carrying journalist to NA$CAR during Twittergate and by one legal definition could amount to extortion.
　
Subliminal Message with Pocono Sponsor?
　
Is NA$CAR telling us that the race is going to last 5 hours and that it will be a snoozer by having 5 Hour Energy Drink as the race sponsor? Maybe it should become the official sponsor of the cookie cutter tracks since they all tend to be snooze fests.
　
Great Idea for Debris Cautions
　
Mike in Orlando came up with a great idea to make sure that NA$CAR is on the up and up when it comes to debris cautions.
　
How's this for a way to get rid of our friend: put a helmet cam on the guys in the safety truck that pick the debris off the track during cautions. The same kind of helmet cam that is occasionally worn by "over-the-wallers" during pit stops. When a yellow flag is thrown for debris, the helmet cam goes on and stays on until the safety guys can show us just what kind of debris (if any) there actually was on the track to bring out the caution. For me, these phantom cautions call into question the integrity of that specific race and NASCAR in general. When a significant portion of your fan base equates your (supposedly on the level) sport to professional wrestling, you've got a problem. And yes, it would be interesting to see how many times the feed from the cam goes out at an inappropriate time, like when there's no debris to be found...anyway, thanks for indulging me.
　
“Boys Have At It” Confusion
　
When NA$CAR announced their new policy allowing drivers to express a little emotion on the track, I don’t think they were considering it would result in millions of dollars of cars and trucks ending up being scrap metal. And it seems that one or two drivers have taken it to heart by wrecking, spinning out, and punting other drivers throughout all 3 of NA$CAR’s top touring series. It doesn’t matter if the other driver was a wet-behind-the-ears rookie or a seasoned veteran, these drivers have wrecked them all with one of the two really taking it out on the rookies and less experienced drivers. To make matters worse, NA$CAR has hyped this up in their ads and interviews showing wrecks galore, even wrecks that happened with the old COT with the spoiler. McDowell’s qualifying wreck at Texas, Cousin/Crazy Carl going into the fence at Talladega, Bowyer sliding on his roof at Daytona, Logano tumbling down the track at Dover, and all of these wrecks being used to promote a races at tracks where these wrecks never occurred. Not to mention the ads for the All Star Race preaching revenge, getting even, and havoc run amok. And yet when Newman and Childress both practice their version of “Boys Have At It”, they’re punished for it. So who’s really at fault? Newman and Childress for going along with the program that NA$CAR is advocating or NA$CAR for laying the hype about “Boys Have At It” on so thick that people have actually started believing it?
　
By sitting around with their thumbs up their backsides and allowing certain drivers to conduct a reign of terror on the track, NA$CAR has contributed to the problem and is an instigator of it via their controlled media. As has happened in the past, NA$CAR is saying one thing yet doing another. They want drivers to have bare knuckle brawls to get folks to watch on TV or attend the races and want the drivers to wreck millions of dollars worth of race vehicles so they can fill the coffers of the Ivory Towers without having to spend much in the way of advertising. They get their controlled media to hype things up for them at no cost to the Ivory Towers. Then in turn they fine the drivers or owners for “actions detrimental” for carrying out “Boys Have At It” when they go bare knuckle with 30% of the money going to charity and 70% lining the pockets of various executives and staffers. So while there’s animosity and ill will running amok in the garage and on the track, NA$CAR is laughing all the way to the bank while quietly instigating and promoting the violence and carnage that’s happening.
　
Isn’t It Odd
　
When Shrubbery was nailed for doing 128 mph in a residential area putting the residents of the area at risk, his car manufacturer said nothing. When Shrubbery gets “pruned” by a 65 year old man, they come out in defense of Shrubbery and want the head of the “pruner” be served up on a silver platter.
　
Advice for Richard Childress
　
Two words: Tonya Harding.
　

Jules the Engine Guy had some interesting observations regarding irony:
　
#1
Dodge makes a complaint about engines, saying Ford has an advantage.
Yesterday, in the order of the makes, Dodge, Chevy, Toyota and Ford is last. Dodge dominates too. Nothing against Ford but amazing how that works out.
　
　
#2
With the advent of the new fueling procedures and ethanol, tires now last for an entire fuel run. Are the tires better or is the mileage worse? Also interesting is that its a 50/50 toss up as to whether or not the teams fill the cars with fuel. We heard of Biffle, Kurt Busch, and now Tony Stewart having these issues. One make of car seems left out. The make that hasn't had a problem advertises that its line is the most fuel efficient.
　
　
#3
Cryal Busch (although he does not admit it) tries his damnedest to drive like Earnhardt Sr. He loves it when they make that comparison. So what does he do? He gets ticketed for driving an exotic sports car 3x the speed limit in the county where Earnhardt Sr lived. Then he gets his ass kicked by a man almost 40 years his senior. That man, Earnhardt's car owner.
　
Penske Going to Chevy for Cup?
　
2012 is when Penske’s contract with Dodge runs out and with the announcement that his IndyCar operation will be the lead Chevy team and his IndyCar teams were spotted with Hendrick decals on the rear spoilers, you have to wonder if Penske is already building the new cars without saying anything or if he’s planning to have some sort of alliance with Hendrick in 2012 in the form of possibly being yet another Hendrick satellite team. I’m just speculating here but the indications are pretty strong. So what say you Roger? Is your Cup operation switching to Chevy or not come 2012?
　

TV Ratings Deception
　
Don’t be deceived by all the hype of how Focks ratings had the biggest increase in the last 11 years. If you go back and look at where the ratings were before Faux King Brian took over and the high point, the TV ratings are still down by at least 25%. So while they may have gone up for Focks this season, they’re nowhere near where they use to be.

　

Dakar Rally Day 1 - Team Hummer

As there’s not much going on with the Beach Boy Bubbas, I’ve been trying to keep up with Team Hummer’s and Robby Gordon’s efforts. They didn’t seem to have any problems going through scrutineering, the Dakar Rally equivalent to NA$CAR’s tech inspection but much more involved as it includes safety equipment not found on Cup cars, lots of paperwork which must be carried, and a navigation system which is furnished by the sanctioning body, ASO. ASO’s scrutinizing is nothing like Frank Zappa’s Central Scrutinizer from the Joe’s Garage albums. Robby is well-known on the Dakar Rally circuit, around the globe, and had fans screaming out his name when he drove his Hummer out of the scrutineering area.

Eliseo Salazar is driving a second Hummer, the Speed Energy/Cristal CERO Hummer. As a native of Chile, he’ll have a big fan following on that part of the course and have the “home field” advantage over his competitors when they get to Chile.

This year, Team Hummer has 6 support vehicles: 2 6X6 Freightliners, 1 H1, 1 Chevy crew cab 4X4, 2 motorcycles. The plan is to have one Freightliner leading to the next bivouac and the other as the caboose with the two 4X4's in the middle. Each of the 6X6's will also have a motorcycle for quick response, something that would have been good to have last year. Last year, Team Hummer had what was basically a mobile motel. This year, the mobile motel was left home. Everybody gets to rough it in a tent, including Robby, Eliseo, and the other drivers and “co-pilots”.

The bike rider who won the Baja 1000 in 2010, Quinn Cody, will also be carrying the Speed Energy Drink sponsorship and colors on his #15 bike.

Unlike the same old, same old opening ceremonies we see week after week during the NA$CAR races, the Dakar Rally ceremonies seem to be a little more flexible and fluid to the moment. Some folks may have heard the term “jumping the shark”. Well, after the fans started screaming they wanted Robby to jump the podium in his Hummer during the opening ceremonies, ASO officials had a quick confab and gave Robby the “thumbs up” to go ahead and do it. Imagine how many weeks it would take NA$CAR to discuss whether or not a driver could jump the podium. You’ve got to give it to the ASO folks for giving the fans what they want, unlike NA$CAR.

It seems Stage 1 had it’s own set of unique problems that plagued everyone. Lots and lots of mud. Besides a communication problem between Robby and his navigator due to a failed microphone, they ran out of windshield washer fluid causing them to lose time, about 11 minutes, and go off road at one point. Robby’s teammate Eliseo Salazar finished Day 1 in 28^th place, 34 minutes, 25 seconds behind first place.

Day 2 is a mixed bag with narrow mountain roads and some rough terrain. As the Hummers don’t run a turbo-charged engine, they’ll probably lose some ground til they get to the rough terrain.

You can follow the Dakar Rally and the progress of Team Hummer at http://www.dakar.com/ or catch the daily half hour recap on Versus at 3:30 PM and at either 7:00 PM or 7:30 PM, depending on the night, so check your schedule.